3 Tips For Conflict Resolution

In this Video we share 3 tips For Conflict Resolution and Management where possible. Lovers argue every now and then. Solution may not always be in reach at the moment you argue but handling conflict well reduces repeated issues and lengthly dysfunctional encounters which scar both people for life.

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3 Reasons Why Boyfriends Should Not Get Husband Benefits

In this video we talk about 3 Reasons why Boyfriends Should Not Get Husband Benefits.

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3 Tips On Growing Your Relationship

In this Video we talk about How to get to know your partner better. There is hope people. Its not so hard if you have help. Enjoy

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How to Handle Habitual Liars

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This one is for all the genuine people who are struggling with critical decisions about the lies they have been told and are being forced or coerced to live with.  With that being said let the sifting begin.

People who have lying tongues as a habit are dangerous to genuine people. When you seeđź‘€ or hearđź‘‚ lies confront them and address them with the truth. We don’t need to be rude when doing it just observant and careful not to do what is done to us. When confronting the person and in response they embellishes those lies with even more lies to cover their tracks then prepare your action plan and stop expecting the truth from such people.

Do you know the amount of futile thinking circles lies can make you do. Going around the same mountain of mindset again and again hoping to somehow come to the promise land(Peaceful Personal Conclusion) and enjoy the rewards of diligent thought. NO not with lies drugging your conclusions.

“You should also be bold enough to shamelessly cut liars loose from their commitment to you as their presence causes more anxiety and hidden confusion than actual safety”

Unfortunately whether it be a relationship with a new love or a business venture, or a new job that was sugar coated to gain our sympathy and commitment  we all seem to have this desire to turn the false outcome around and outsmart deception with our own version of events and reasoning. This is a recipe for self deception where we apply our lie to the lies we were told in order to maintain sanity and in many cases a falsely founded partnership. We can actually do better by accepting the truth about that partnership  before us and then seeking working solutions after disconnection from the lies.

“There are things we can stick around for but there are things we must shamelessly cut off.”

Few who have ever departed because of lies remain unhappy for very long. They become people who can decide what exactly works. Faithfulness to liars rarely benefits the faithful. Remember we are born creatures searching for the truth that will free us as opposed to the lies that will fleece us. Take your time and observe the consistency of the truth or the lie your partner in any venture upholds. When you know the quality of truth or the quality of lie. Make your next move swiftly.

“Remember the truth makes a man strong enough to remain free but the lie makes a man weak enough to stay and believe in what will not change even with false hope. ” – Mr Vito Speaks

With that said we hope this will help you deal effectively with habitual liars most especially when important decisions rely on truth and honesty.

Kind Regards

Mr & Mrs Vito

4 Precautions To Help You Fufil Purpose

We all have some sort of desire to live a fuller life, make better connections and strengthen the purpose for which we are living. The greatest challenge for most people is not doing their best when people are looking but its usually when people are not looking.

For men this is especially difficult because the habits we form in secret have a way of disarming even our public confidence. Porn, Anger, Suicide, Depression, Frustration, Helplessness, Laziness, even disadvantage…. all of these require courage to over come and stay out of.

When a man has not explored his potential he is vulnerable to discouragement and all these previously mentioned elements are ignited by a sense of inadequacy. In fact feeling like you are not good enough to do anything is worse when you’re alone. In isolation a man can think himself into a slumber or stubborness as the absence of courage leaves his personality crippled and voiceless.

I need you to know that courage to fulfil purpose is not easily found and as men we should learn to appreciate courage when it comes from somewhere other than our depressed self. There are multiple ways in which encouragement can come and its important to be open and connect with people who have the courage we yearn for. In the process one must understand that encouragement to someone who is in a slump can be frustration. It can foster dishonour and a deep lack of appreciation. Courage is a tough commodity to secure so when it seemingly comes for free we must give attention to it.

Here are few habits one would to adjust in order to respond well when Courage comes.

1) Beware of Flattery: Flattery can easily be mistaken for encouragement because it creates a false sense of security that is founded on foggy agenda. Flattery is the short cut to achieving rapport with someone but it is not what sustains it. Real encouragement comes with correction and a new level of discipline to reset bad ideas. Flattery makes you feel good for the moment but it does not produce sustainable returns. Encouragement is more long term it ushers the receiver onto a path of discovery and personal change. Encouragement challenges the state of a man and suggests that he is more than he has settled for.

2) Beware of Lies: Lies can fabricate entirely different situations in the state of a discouraged person. They can create internal division in a mans mind about his conviction and they confuse his course of action. When a man is told lies or is in the habit of telling them, this in effect causes an unstable mindset which in effect cannot succeed in fulfilling purpose. Fulfilling purpose at the cost of integrity is not fulfilling purpose at all, its actually compromising oneself and in doing so exposes the individual to discontentment.

3) Beware of Wilful blindness: In my line of work I constantly have to challenge negative mindsets and I find myself having to discourage some forms of behaviour and encourage others. What is unfortunate is that some times people protect their bad habits and disconnect themselves from affirmation for the sake of temporary joys. What they dont know is that they are nursing disadvantage. Inevitably these people end up hating good instruction because their temporary joy has created a monster they cannot overcome. Pride has stepped in to crown their disadvantage. Short of humility a wilfully blind person will persist on that path and it is very difficult to call them back unless they are willing to lay it all out.

4) Beware of Pride: Pride is personal, and when its not put on a leash or left unattended, it can be the root of all self deception. Pride creates a terrible self dependance that does not create a discerning well positioned individual.
Some people because of pride have abandoned courage and stood with the coward beneath. Pride suppresses speaking out of any kind that mobilises change. A lot of people want to change their ways but refuse to put pride aside because it hurts too much. Pride is a self defence technique for low self esteem.

The One Who Broke My Heart

The Best Revenge

The morning after we broke up, I woke up with a strange unexpected sense of freedom. It was a feeling I would only understand the gravity of, in the months that followed.

We met in Church; and about 2 weeks later and there she was, dressed in traditional cloth. She was like a bright light, shining with her friends, who were buzzing around her like maids preparing her for a King. I have to be honest, I was instantly more attracted to her. In her, I saw all my fantasies. A traditional, calm, easy going woman with something more to give, than the onslaught of sexuality that most offer. She was young, bright eyed and “looked” ready for love.

It wasn’t long before we started hanging out, going to Church together or having in depth conversations about faith and perseverance. Even through the hardest times we had faced, I had found someone to share my journey with. In 3 months she knew more about me, than my family did.

Perhaps in your personal intrigue you can answer this. Why did I lobby my own mother into allowing this girl to move into our home, when her own mother threw her out for her “rude” behaviour? What did I overlook in my list of requirements, for a girlfriend (who would progress into wife)? Why did I lose many significant friendships with people I loved because of this girl? What did she say to me? What did she say to them? Why did I lose my job with a credible mentor because of this girl? How did she affect my performance at work? A role that was paying for her food and her living arrangements! She was hot for all the wrong reasons.. Why didn’t I let her go?

To help answer these questions, you might want to use your imagination and fill in the gaps. Apply your own experience or knowledge of a manipulator, gold digger or an angry, unruly, highly intelligent and extremely self centered woman.

I believe I had met someone who had mastered the Art of Seduction and thoroughly imbibed the 48 Laws of Power.

Unfortunately, I was the willing victim of her anger and tempestuous habits. When she did wrong, it was me who would constantly say “I’m sorry”, to her or on her behalf. I constantly had to excuse her behaviour, but at what stage did she stand up for me? According to her, it was when I wasn’t there! How convenient that not once did I ever see that fire and passion being used for my benefit. It was always against me and the people who were decent enough to endure my choice of a girlfriend.

Our living arrangements were formulated in hell by my own hands. In the private moments we had, it still felt like I was being used and the essence of my manly strength was being taken away. This woman was an insult to my self esteem, she did very little to encourage my personal progress. Perhaps I should have let go, the first time she started exhibiting signs of unfaithfulness. Including the long phone calls to people who did not know about me. The near kisses, actual kisses and fondles with those very same strangers she entertained on the phone and “study dates”?

Not once could I claim that she was as refreshing as the first day I saw her. I ignored everyone that spoke sense, about how a sober woman was supposed to behave. I was hooked to the most destructive relationship I had ever known. I was hooked because, she seemed like the only person who showed me attention.

I really should have gone to spec savers…….

Well I did and guess who Im working with now? REAL LOVE LOOKS LIKE WORK

 

Relationship Notes: The Value Of Other

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If you as a person only see the value of self and neglect that of others you erase hope stored on your Heart drive. Its not all about you! But guess what IT INVOLVES YOU. You seeing the value of others should not diminish your light or knock your shine but it should inspire you. REWIRE your agenda to reflect this and perhaps that hope in you will actually bring the needed Faith to Love because you can. #MoreThanAverage
#Men #Women #Love #Vision #Purpose #Hope #Faith #Wisdom

Relationship Notes: Divorce Is Not An Option

“COUPLES COULD PAY THE PRICE IN THE DIVORCE DEALS DUE TO CUTS IN LEGAL AID”

According to an article In the EVENING STANDARD

“LEGAL AID is now no longer available for most divorce cases due to spending cuts which see money restricted for a few high priority cases. It means divorcing wives and husbands face either a costly legal bill to pay for a lawyer or the daunting prospect of representing themselves for those without the funds”.

Lola and I believe that it takes a lot to get to the stage of divorce, simultaneously we also believe that in an age of mentors, information and timeless revelation….

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” Proverbs

As avid encourager’s of togetherness Lola and I have constantly found that the state of marriage is often affected by the state of the minds of the Lovers involved and although we don’t want it to, the state of couples minds is often affected by the following factors.

MONEY PROBLEMS

CHILDREN’S DISCIPLINE

SEX & ITS FREQUENCY

TIME SPENT APART

HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES

FRIENDS

IRRITATING HABITS

PERSONALITY CONFLICTS

INFIDELITY

FAMILY

EXPECTATIONS

Perhaps its as a result of all the above that we as people should strive for better handling of issues as when they arise and prevent what we can. That being said a worthwhile marriage is not built on shunting the things we are uncomfortable with under the carpet and then hoping the rats and mice will usher all our rubbish out. Lola and I find ourselves in situations as you would expect every married couple is supposed to, I think its not an enduring marriage if has not been tested with some kind of annoying afflictions that makes you feel like its a hopeless ship that should sink with the next wave. Remember the problems you are experiencing are REAL and neither should you suppress the feelings that come with them. The feelings serve as an indicator that there should be a change from within to encourage progress not a reason to part ways. Divorce seems like an easy way out, for those of you considering Co-Habitus Relationships, however LAWS will one day come into play where splitting with your partner may be like filing for divorce so don’t consider that as an easy way out.

Marriage is a RELATION-SHIP! A ship in which you should get over yourself as quickly as possible and learn to start RELATING on issues that keep the LOVE BOAT sailing to destiny before someone secretly gets thrown over board. Despite all the issues that come with marriage you find that most people want to find themselves walking down the aisle in style (SPENDING LIKE BOSSES) for the day and then crying a few months later. Perhaps the allure of marriage is the HONOUR that comes with it, and the ability to also work on these challenges in life with someone who cares about you. I mean when you’re hit hard by the issues mentioned as a single person, short of having a divine support system its very hard to maintain personal momentum and personal balance. Our greatest successes depend on stable relationships VISIBLE or INVISIBLE to the public eye.

Essentially permit me to encourage you that a more meaningful marriage or journey to it comes from facing your hiccups with yourself and the person or people you trust. Looking at the list above reminds Lola and I that we are still growing, some things we are yet to face but others we were facing before we consummated the marriage.

For those of you young and married seek the help you need to deal with your challenges. If youre going to overcome the issues above then let this list of donts encourage a unique perspective. Talk to your partner, be a partner not just by law but by active participation and contribution to solution.

-Don’t let marriage MUTE you!

-Don’t let PRIDE recruit you!

-Don’t let MONEY OR LACK OR EVEN THE LOVE of it divide you!

-Don’t let BAD FRIENDSHIPS RUIN you!

-Don’t let UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS fool you!

-Don’t let your FAMILIES rule you!

-Don’t let HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES confuse you!

-Don’t Let IRRITATING HABITS consume you!

-Don’t let SEX, ITS FREQUENCY or its ABSENCE delude you!

-Don’t let CHILDREN’S DISCIPLINE be a civil war!

-Don’t let INFIDELITY be an option!

Some solutions to a lot of these problems don’t become clear until you have honestly overcome them, or you’re blessed enough to avoid them. May courage keep you strong as you overcome your challenges in similar ways in which we overcome ours daily.

The UK has gained a reputation as the divorce capital of the world because of the multi-million-pound settlements awarded to former partners. Sir Paul McCartney was required to pay Heather Mills ÂŁ24.3m after four years of marriage. Beverley Charman, the former wife of John Charman, an insurance magnate, recently received ÂŁ48m.

The Guardian

Choose well and you will live life happy! – Mr and Mrs Vito