We all have some sort of desire to live a fuller life, make better connections and strengthen the purpose for which we are living. The greatest challenge for most people is not doing their best when people are looking but its usually when people are not looking.
For men this is especially difficult because the habits we form in secret have a way of disarming even our public confidence. Porn, Anger, Suicide, Depression, Frustration, Helplessness, Laziness, even disadvantage…. all of these require courage to over come and stay out of.
When a man has not explored his potential he is vulnerable to discouragement and all these previously mentioned elements are ignited by a sense of inadequacy. In fact feeling like you are not good enough to do anything is worse when you’re alone. In isolation a man can think himself into a slumber or stubborness as the absence of courage leaves his personality crippled and voiceless.
I need you to know that courage to fulfil purpose is not easily found and as men we should learn to appreciate courage when it comes from somewhere other than our depressed self. There are multiple ways in which encouragement can come and its important to be open and connect with people who have the courage we yearn for. In the process one must understand that encouragement to someone who is in a slump can be frustration. It can foster dishonour and a deep lack of appreciation. Courage is a tough commodity to secure so when it seemingly comes for free we must give attention to it.
Here are few habits one would to adjust in order to respond well when Courage comes.
1) Beware of Flattery: Flattery can easily be mistaken for encouragement because it creates a false sense of security that is founded on foggy agenda. Flattery is the short cut to achieving rapport with someone but it is not what sustains it. Real encouragement comes with correction and a new level of discipline to reset bad ideas. Flattery makes you feel good for the moment but it does not produce sustainable returns. Encouragement is more long term it ushers the receiver onto a path of discovery and personal change. Encouragement challenges the state of a man and suggests that he is more than he has settled for.
2) Beware of Lies: Lies can fabricate entirely different situations in the state of a discouraged person. They can create internal division in a mans mind about his conviction and they confuse his course of action. When a man is told lies or is in the habit of telling them, this in effect causes an unstable mindset which in effect cannot succeed in fulfilling purpose. Fulfilling purpose at the cost of integrity is not fulfilling purpose at all, its actually compromising oneself and in doing so exposes the individual to discontentment.
3) Beware of Wilful blindness: In my line of work I constantly have to challenge negative mindsets and I find myself having to discourage some forms of behaviour and encourage others. What is unfortunate is that some times people protect their bad habits and disconnect themselves from affirmation for the sake of temporary joys. What they dont know is that they are nursing disadvantage. Inevitably these people end up hating good instruction because their temporary joy has created a monster they cannot overcome. Pride has stepped in to crown their disadvantage. Short of humility a wilfully blind person will persist on that path and it is very difficult to call them back unless they are willing to lay it all out.
4) Beware of Pride: Pride is personal, and when its not put on a leash or left unattended, it can be the root of all self deception. Pride creates a terrible self dependance that does not create a discerning well positioned individual.
Some people because of pride have abandoned courage and stood with the coward beneath. Pride suppresses speaking out of any kind that mobilises change. A lot of people want to change their ways but refuse to put pride aside because it hurts too much. Pride is a self defence technique for low self esteem.