3 Tips For Conflict Resolution

In this Video we share 3 tips For Conflict Resolution and Management where possible. Lovers argue every now and then. Solution may not always be in reach at the moment you argue but handling conflict well reduces repeated issues and lengthly dysfunctional encounters which scar both people for life.

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3 Tips On Growing Your Relationship

In this Video we talk about How to get to know your partner better. There is hope people. Its not so hard if you have help. Enjoy

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Friendship, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Friends are best chosen with careful thought. We all talk about being the average of the top 5 people we associate with the most, so how do we get to choosing the the proper friends that align with our destiny. The kind of friends that are healthy for our relationships with the opposite sex. Its all very deep stuff. In this particular broadcast we gave it an honest outlook and more interesting is the views that our listeners shared with us.

Make sure you listen closely as the principles shared are necessary for growth.

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Closing The Deal With The Opposite Sex

Some people want that confidence to approach a woman and start a meaning conversation that could hopefully lead to a fulfilling companionship. We can as men imagine all that we want but the truth is our imaginations and visualisations mean nothing if we haven’t done anything about them. Its time to build the confidence to close the deal!

In this show we talked at length about how to make a move on the opposite sex and reducing the hesitation that comes up when we fear being rejected and the misconceptions that people have about starting a conversation with someone they like.

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Fighting Depression With Companionship

Have you ever wondered how relationships can help us build a stronger resistance against issues like Depression and Low self esteem? Well in this clip we discussed it! No one said life would be easy but we cannot and should never under estimate the power of companionship. It could make the difference in the dark days.

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How to Handle Habitual Liars

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This one is for all the genuine people who are struggling with critical decisions about the lies they have been told and are being forced or coerced to live with.  With that being said let the sifting begin.

People who have lying tongues as a habit are dangerous to genuine people. When you seeūüĎÄ or hearūüĎā lies confront them and address them with the truth. We don’t need to be rude when doing it just observant and careful not to do what is done to us. When confronting the person and in response they embellishes those lies with even more lies to cover their tracks then prepare your action plan and stop expecting the truth from such people.

Do you know the amount of futile thinking circles lies can make you do. Going around the same mountain of mindset again and again hoping to somehow come to the promise land(Peaceful Personal Conclusion) and enjoy the rewards of diligent thought. NO not with lies drugging your conclusions.

“You should also be bold enough to shamelessly cut liars loose from their commitment to you as their presence causes more anxiety and hidden confusion than actual safety”

Unfortunately whether it be a relationship with a new love or a business venture, or a new job that was sugar coated to gain our sympathy and commitment  we all seem to have this desire to turn the false outcome around and outsmart deception with our own version of events and reasoning. This is a recipe for self deception where we apply our lie to the lies we were told in order to maintain sanity and in many cases a falsely founded partnership. We can actually do better by accepting the truth about that partnership  before us and then seeking working solutions after disconnection from the lies.

“There are things we can stick around for but there are things we must shamelessly cut off.”

Few who have ever departed because of lies remain unhappy for very long. They become people who can decide what exactly works. Faithfulness to liars rarely benefits the faithful. Remember we are born creatures searching for the truth that will free us as opposed to the lies that will fleece us. Take your time and observe the consistency of the truth or the lie your partner in any venture upholds. When you know the quality of truth or the quality of lie. Make your next move swiftly.

“Remember the truth makes a man strong enough to remain free but the lie makes a man weak enough to stay and believe in what will not change even with false hope. ” – Mr Vito Speaks

With that said we hope this will help you deal effectively with habitual liars most especially when important decisions rely on truth and honesty.

Kind Regards

Mr & Mrs Vito

3 Reasons Why Good Men Are Hard To Find

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Today’s good¬†man is a rare elusive¬†sight for most eligible and ready to marry women with their heads screwed on. Its clear there is some epidemic damaging availability and visibility.
Its also clear that many good women are interested in finding or being found by the right type of guys. In honour of this desire we have put together these 3 reasons to provoke some soul searching.

1) Women swoon over men who are not prepared to date: Some times ladies in their desire to connect with men often find themselves desiring a man who just isn’t ready. Some ladies even take offence at the man’s lack of readiness but their internal persistence pushes for a connection because of fear of missing out on “someone good”. They put their attention towards a man who looks like, even acts like but really¬†isn’t prepared to be the right one for her. Constantly the woman is then forced to confront this lack of readiness and is more than likely to interpret it as rejection meanwhile the man’s lack of readiness is really¬†fuelling her ailing insecurities. The truth is her focus should be on men who are ready to date. Unfortunately on the flip side the ones who are ready to date have their own hurdles to¬†jump because they¬†never present, Confident, Mature or Decisive long enough for her attention to be aroused. Until men come out the rubble of societies stereotypes and establish an identity that is based on personally enriched value systems and a follow through of those values then the rubble will on be piled on more and more¬†until even the best of good men is invisible.

2) Using your friends “Seemingly Good Relationship” as an excuse to look for and date just any man. Many people claim to have particular tastes when it comes to the type of people to date but few of them know what they are really like when peer pressure pushes them. There is a tendency to¬†crumble under pressure when their friend meets someone new and so to avoid dealing with¬†envy, self imposed shame and discomfort they create space for a man who shouldnt be in their lives.¬†¬†Straight away to the quiet eligible bachelor her choice shows¬†she is incapable of choosing well. At the end of the day you need to be aware that Peer Pressure can¬†drive you¬†to envy.¬†Your friends choice of man¬†no matter who,¬†¬†should drive you¬†to learn how to choose well. When a friend is in a situation that provokes envy in you, it is important to work out the real reason for those feelings. If your friend has truly met a man who is one of a kind and you respect her opinion then surely you should look at what was happening before she met the man. Was she doing things you admire or things you despise. Your envy should not be “why does she have and I do not”. Become a student of how good choices are made and you will cultivate a humility¬†your future husband will thank you for.¬†“How did she get to be with who she is with?” That question will position you as a student on the path of learning.

3) The good guys are stuck in your friend zone. This is by far one of the worst curses of being perceived as being¬†too good/nice/kind/available! There is little celebration of the¬†fully available¬†guy. Hes a great friend.. so what stands in the way of him becoming a good husband? Good men are hard to find because they are classified under “Undesirable(Physically Undesired) Friends” instead of “Men With Potential”. It is whatever/whomever a woman deems valuable that she will prioritise. Sometimes when¬†your¬† guy “Friends” are not attractive in your eyes¬†you¬†may¬†tend to mislabel them as failed experiments but its amazing how your opinions change when another woman sees the “Husband”¬†you friend zoned.¬†I would like to encourage you to treat every man with respect as¬†you¬†don’t know what kind of husband they could be. That being said if your friend zoned guy¬†friend is a player why is he still in the friend zone? Someone like should make you feel uncomfortable.¬†Just because you have not fallen victim to the womaniser doesn’t mean you should stick around and console the heart breaker. Why are you as a good woman giving respect and adding value¬†to a man who by his actions is proving why he cannot be trusted!?¬†The day untrustworthy men lose the respect they get from “good women” is the day we will see the emergence of all the good men who are hidden in the Friendzone.

 

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The One Who Broke My Heart

The Best Revenge

The morning after we broke up, I woke up with a strange unexpected sense of freedom. It was a feeling I would only understand the gravity of, in the months that followed.

We met in Church; and about 2 weeks later and there she was, dressed in traditional cloth. She was like a bright light, shining with her friends, who were buzzing around her like maids preparing her for a King. I have to be honest, I was instantly more attracted to her. In her, I saw all my fantasies. A traditional, calm, easy going woman with something more to give, than the onslaught of sexuality that most offer. She was young, bright eyed and “looked” ready for love.

It wasn’t long before we started hanging out, going to Church together or having in depth conversations about faith and perseverance. Even through the hardest times we had faced, I had found someone to share my journey with. In 3 months she knew more about me, than my family did.

Perhaps in your personal intrigue you can answer this. Why did I lobby my own mother into allowing this girl to move into our home, when her own mother threw her out for her ‚Äúrude‚ÄĚ behaviour? What did I overlook in my list of requirements, for a girlfriend (who would progress into wife)? Why did I lose many significant friendships with people I loved because of this girl? What did she say to me? What did she say to them? Why did I lose my job with a credible mentor because of this girl? How did she affect my performance at work? A role that was paying for her food and her living arrangements! She was hot for all the wrong reasons.. Why didn’t I let her go?

To help answer these questions, you might want to use your imagination and fill in the gaps. Apply your own experience or knowledge of a manipulator, gold digger or an angry, unruly, highly intelligent and extremely self centered woman.

I believe I had met someone who had mastered the Art of Seduction and thoroughly imbibed the 48 Laws of Power.

Unfortunately, I was the willing victim of her anger and tempestuous habits. When she did wrong, it was me who would constantly say ‚ÄúI‚Äôm sorry‚ÄĚ, to her or on her behalf. I constantly had to excuse her behaviour, but at what stage did she stand up for me? According to her, it was when I wasn’t there! How convenient that not once did I ever see that fire and passion being used for my benefit. It was always against me and the people who were decent enough to endure my choice of a girlfriend.

Our living arrangements were formulated in hell by my own hands. In the private moments we had, it still felt like I was being used and the essence of my manly strength was being taken away. This woman was an insult to my self esteem, she did very little to encourage my personal progress. Perhaps I should have let go, the first time she started exhibiting signs of unfaithfulness. Including the long phone calls to people who did not know about me. The near kisses, actual kisses and fondles with those very same strangers she entertained on the phone and ‚Äústudy dates‚ÄĚ?

Not once could I claim that she was as refreshing as the first day I saw her. I ignored everyone that spoke sense, about how a sober woman was supposed to behave. I was hooked to the most destructive relationship I had ever known. I was hooked because, she seemed like the only person who showed me attention.

I really should have gone to spec savers…….

Well I did and guess who Im working with now? REAL LOVE LOOKS LIKE WORK

 

Some Things You Shouldnt Sweep Under The Carpet

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There are so many of us chugging along like restless machines that have no rest and most times no need for any form of relaxation. Perhaps because we are working towards a goal that needs relentless pursuit and so we find that activity our greatest occupation until another type of feeling begins to consume our attitudes and performance.

You know when a person goes through (terrible)things in life it never shows on their face, not with the make up we wear and the addictions we feed. If it does show on your face then that thing has gone too far but most of us know how to cover up our hurts and discomforts through the occasional selfie, twerk video, porn addiction, alcohol, weed toking, gambling, risk taking, sexual escapades and a variety of other things to just numb the mind from the following feelings. Are you experiencing any of these symptoms individually or collectively?

fatigue

  • Lacking energy or feeling tired

I feel these things a lot times and its usually when dealing with unwilling students during my work time or stubbornness towards a solution I believe will help the individuals I’m offering counsel to. That’s my personal energy drainer and I find myself having to with hold well thought out expressions in order to preserve my energy for weightier matters. Remember your¬†energy always needs somewhere good to go. So reserve excessive effort for the willing. But if you are at the stage of being out of energy you need to the right thing about it and stop depleting your reserves.

restless

  • Feeling restless and agitated

Restless: unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom

Agitation: feeling or appearing troubled or nervous

When your feel restless or agitated there is usually some procrastination involved. Perhaps you are avoiding doing something necessary to please someone else and even side-lining your emotions and suppressing your gifts and this is causing issues in your performance. Maybe its worth writing your feelings down and letting them stay on the paper as opposed to your heart. As you review your thoughts it is likely your will come to a conclusion about where you are headed to next.

weeping

  • Feeling tearful

There’s nothing more therapeutic than having a good cry. We probably all do it more frequently than we would like to admit but there does come a time when we need to ensure that our tears do not inspire us to do things we will later regret. Tears are so precious that they should be carried in a bottle but when we find ourselves crying rivers we need to get help. Ladies if you didn’t know men cry too. I need you to know that our tears can come from the same hurts you experience. We too at some points feel the discrimination that society piles upon us. We feel the burden of disappointment and the glass ceiling against our professional aspirations. We feel it all and most times we don’t know what to do with those feelings.

isolation

  • Not wanting to talk to or be with people

Yep here is a common one. The things you feel and experience you don’t want to share because they make you seem smaller. I completely understand. Sometimes you just want to turn your phone off and unplug from false expectations and the pretentiousness you see on the small and the big screen. The kind of things that usually make you smile and click¬†are not as entertaining anymore. That human to human disconnect is real and depending on the kind of city you live in this can be common occurrence but surely you should know there are states of mind that are not sustainable. Pick up the phone and make a call and laugh during that conversation.

enthusiasm

    • Not wanting to do things you usually enjoy

When you stop doing things you enjoy essentially the passionate part of you is buried beneath your depression. its worth always exploring what is killing your joy. Joy, like purposeful activity is the fuel of enthusiasm and when your fuel is gone you are gone. This is difficult for some people to process but you must attend to your depression and convert your slump. Depression is greedy and always wants more than just the situation that created or forged it.

alcoholism

    • Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings

When your addiction is your prescription you are very much dancing on the edge of your sanity . Its a deep abyss that has no light. You cannot find hope in your addictions. When we have turned to extreme behaviour to remedy things we are creating very tough circumstances. Perhaps even worse than the one we are in. Its worth considering getting some professional help with that. Dont let your addictions create a hopeless world in you because that is exactly what you will reflect with your physical action.

 

    • Finding it hard to cope with everyday things

When everyday things are a hassle you need to return to your first love and get calibrated again. This is another point worth talking over with someone who cares about you and committing to work through is so that you dont lounge in the wrong situation.

Rightly so I want you to know that this happens to all of us from time to time. You could be stuck in a dead end job, friendship group, dead end abusive relationship, circumstance and just even the thoughts about it are killing your determination. You could be suicidal as you read this. Its perfectly natural to feel such feelings from time to time but it is not healthy to live in any of these states for prolonged periods of time. These tough economic times we live in call for a tough heart but by reason of not addressing our setbacks openly we are secretly vulnerable to depression, anxiety, worry, stress and illness too. Sometimes you need to take the time out to talk things through. Most people look down on counselling, coaching, mentoring, and therapy because they don’t believe their mental health can be coached, coaxed, strengthened or convicted to a better state but perhaps its time you put your pride aside and got the help you need before things get more complicated. Many of us are trying to be strong but we are dying inwardly. Many of us are smiling but internally we mourn the days past wishing them back so much we return to bad situations, maintain bad situations, reward bad situations that are useless to our present state and even promote our demise.

Here’s somewhere you can start.

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More Than Average

Relationship Notes – Faulty Opinions and Contortion

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There you are trying to fit in comfortably when you really should be standing out for being amazing but constantly you regard that persons often unfounded even unprovoked negative opinion of you so highly you end up contorting and conforming to becoming their ideal package when you are far much more vibrant and colourful than their thoughts.
Its a shame they only see the Caterpillar and never the butterfly.
Escape the Box
Dissolve the Cocoon
#beyourself #recovery #friendship #relationship #respect #honour #Growth #BeAmzaing #soulties #redefine #boundaries