Dear Mrs Vito, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months and despite my love for him I’m worried about us. I’m a Christian and believe in no sex before marriage, however we’ve found ourselves not keeping this principle. From the beginning I’ve told him what I wanted and even suggested he go to the […]
Tag Archives: dating
Questions To Know When Dating 5
Questions To Know When Dating 5 covers the process of digging Deeper into the Character of the person and checking if investing in the person is worth a life time or a cup of coffee. Questions can make the difference between wasting time, money, effort, affection and keeping safe.
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Questions To Ask When Dating 3
Now you want to know more about your prospective partner and how they see life. The basics of their lifestyle will define where their value systems come from. Listen to the show and write notes!
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Questions To Ask When Dating Part 2
So you want to start dating or are already in the process of dating and would like some questions to ask as part of your banter with your love interest. Not only that but you want to get to the core of the person you are dealing with. Its only right to ask strategic questions that reveal what needs to be known before you commit.
In this show we focused on the Basics About A Persons Faith & Their Lifestyle
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Closing The Deal With The Opposite Sex
Some people want that confidence to approach a woman and start a meaning conversation that could hopefully lead to a fulfilling companionship. We can as men imagine all that we want but the truth is our imaginations and visualisations mean nothing if we haven’t done anything about them. Its time to build the confidence to close the deal!
In this show we talked at length about how to make a move on the opposite sex and reducing the hesitation that comes up when we fear being rejected and the misconceptions that people have about starting a conversation with someone they like.
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Fighting Depression With Companionship
Have you ever wondered how relationships can help us build a stronger resistance against issues like Depression and Low self esteem? Well in this clip we discussed it! No one said life would be easy but we cannot and should never under estimate the power of companionship. It could make the difference in the dark days.
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3 Reasons Why Good Men Are Hard To Find
Today’s good man is a rare elusive sight for most eligible and ready to marry women with their heads screwed on. Its clear there is some epidemic damaging availability and visibility.
Its also clear that many good women are interested in finding or being found by the right type of guys. In honour of this desire we have put together these 3 reasons to provoke some soul searching.
1) Women swoon over men who are not prepared to date: Some times ladies in their desire to connect with men often find themselves desiring a man who just isn’t ready. Some ladies even take offence at the man’s lack of readiness but their internal persistence pushes for a connection because of fear of missing out on “someone good”. They put their attention towards a man who looks like, even acts like but really isn’t prepared to be the right one for her. Constantly the woman is then forced to confront this lack of readiness and is more than likely to interpret it as rejection meanwhile the man’s lack of readiness is really fuelling her ailing insecurities. The truth is her focus should be on men who are ready to date. Unfortunately on the flip side the ones who are ready to date have their own hurdles to jump because they never present, Confident, Mature or Decisive long enough for her attention to be aroused. Until men come out the rubble of societies stereotypes and establish an identity that is based on personally enriched value systems and a follow through of those values then the rubble will on be piled on more and more until even the best of good men is invisible.
2) Using your friends “Seemingly Good Relationship” as an excuse to look for and date just any man. Many people claim to have particular tastes when it comes to the type of people to date but few of them know what they are really like when peer pressure pushes them. There is a tendency to crumble under pressure when their friend meets someone new and so to avoid dealing with envy, self imposed shame and discomfort they create space for a man who shouldnt be in their lives. Straight away to the quiet eligible bachelor her choice shows she is incapable of choosing well. At the end of the day you need to be aware that Peer Pressure can drive you to envy. Your friends choice of man no matter who, should drive you to learn how to choose well. When a friend is in a situation that provokes envy in you, it is important to work out the real reason for those feelings. If your friend has truly met a man who is one of a kind and you respect her opinion then surely you should look at what was happening before she met the man. Was she doing things you admire or things you despise. Your envy should not be “why does she have and I do not”. Become a student of how good choices are made and you will cultivate a humility your future husband will thank you for. “How did she get to be with who she is with?” That question will position you as a student on the path of learning.
3) The good guys are stuck in your friend zone. This is by far one of the worst curses of being perceived as being too good/nice/kind/available! There is little celebration of the fully available guy. Hes a great friend.. so what stands in the way of him becoming a good husband? Good men are hard to find because they are classified under “Undesirable(Physically Undesired) Friends” instead of “Men With Potential”. It is whatever/whomever a woman deems valuable that she will prioritise. Sometimes when your guy “Friends” are not attractive in your eyes you may tend to mislabel them as failed experiments but its amazing how your opinions change when another woman sees the “Husband” you friend zoned. I would like to encourage you to treat every man with respect as you don’t know what kind of husband they could be. That being said if your friend zoned guy friend is a player why is he still in the friend zone? Someone like should make you feel uncomfortable. Just because you have not fallen victim to the womaniser doesn’t mean you should stick around and console the heart breaker. Why are you as a good woman giving respect and adding value to a man who by his actions is proving why he cannot be trusted!? The day untrustworthy men lose the respect they get from “good women” is the day we will see the emergence of all the good men who are hidden in the Friendzone.
The One Who Broke My Heart
The morning after we broke up, I woke up with a strange unexpected sense of freedom. It was a feeling I would only understand the gravity of, in the months that followed.
We met in Church; and about 2 weeks later and there she was, dressed in traditional cloth. She was like a bright light, shining with her friends, who were buzzing around her like maids preparing her for a King. I have to be honest, I was instantly more attracted to her. In her, I saw all my fantasies. A traditional, calm, easy going woman with something more to give, than the onslaught of sexuality that most offer. She was young, bright eyed and “looked” ready for love.
It wasn’t long before we started hanging out, going to Church together or having in depth conversations about faith and perseverance. Even through the hardest times we had faced, I had found someone to share my journey with. In 3 months she knew more about me, than my family did.
Perhaps in your personal intrigue you can answer this. Why did I lobby my own mother into allowing this girl to move into our home, when her own mother threw her out for her “rude” behaviour? What did I overlook in my list of requirements, for a girlfriend (who would progress into wife)? Why did I lose many significant friendships with people I loved because of this girl? What did she say to me? What did she say to them? Why did I lose my job with a credible mentor because of this girl? How did she affect my performance at work? A role that was paying for her food and her living arrangements! She was hot for all the wrong reasons.. Why didn’t I let her go?
To help answer these questions, you might want to use your imagination and fill in the gaps. Apply your own experience or knowledge of a manipulator, gold digger or an angry, unruly, highly intelligent and extremely self centered woman.
I believe I had met someone who had mastered the Art of Seduction and thoroughly imbibed the 48 Laws of Power.
Unfortunately, I was the willing victim of her anger and tempestuous habits. When she did wrong, it was me who would constantly say “I’m sorry”, to her or on her behalf. I constantly had to excuse her behaviour, but at what stage did she stand up for me? According to her, it was when I wasn’t there! How convenient that not once did I ever see that fire and passion being used for my benefit. It was always against me and the people who were decent enough to endure my choice of a girlfriend.
Our living arrangements were formulated in hell by my own hands. In the private moments we had, it still felt like I was being used and the essence of my manly strength was being taken away. This woman was an insult to my self esteem, she did very little to encourage my personal progress. Perhaps I should have let go, the first time she started exhibiting signs of unfaithfulness. Including the long phone calls to people who did not know about me. The near kisses, actual kisses and fondles with those very same strangers she entertained on the phone and “study dates”?
Not once could I claim that she was as refreshing as the first day I saw her. I ignored everyone that spoke sense, about how a sober woman was supposed to behave. I was hooked to the most destructive relationship I had ever known. I was hooked because, she seemed like the only person who showed me attention.
I really should have gone to spec savers…….
Well I did and guess who Im working with now? REAL LOVE LOOKS LIKE WORK
Should She Get Sex On The First Date?
Mr and Mrs Vito had a special talk on the subject of Sex on the first date. Its time we tried talking from a different perspective. We always ask women to put a value on it but when will men put a value on it. Probably never but commendations to those who try.
Research examining how sexual timing is associated with relationship satisfaction, stability, and communication has found waiting to become intimate had a higher correlation with more favourable long-term relationship outcomes.
Take a listen to this one!
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Are You Dating a Deal Breaker?
What exactly is a dating deal breaker? These are the qualities a date either has or comes with that you can’t tolerate in your life. Or conversely, they are qualities a person must have in order to date you, such as the same religion or culture. Men and women both have deal breakers when it comes to dating. The difference between the sexes is that men honor their deal breakers. You’ll see this when a man is in a relationship with a woman for years and years, and yet he won’t marry her. In his mind, she has a deal breaker that isn’t suitable for marriage. Women, conversely, have a tendency not to honor our deal breakers when it comes to men. We think with a little work and a lot of love, we can change him and all will be well in our world. This just isn’t true. Men don’t change unless they want to change. – Lisa Copeland
When you play down key characteristics in a person’s personality that you are dating because they seem to tickle hidden fancies and arouse sexual tension it’s easy to assume this is okay and that some how through the magic of love and affection transformation can occur. Yes this is true but not when you are dealing with a habitually stubborn individual. As people we need stop mistaking Stubbornness for Confidence. Its all well and good dating someone and enjoying your time with them but understand that character can only be hidden for so long. Are you dating a deal breaker and hoping it will turn out for the best? In all my time of working with relationships both new and growing ones I have never seen a deal broken, work?
Deal Breaker:- a factor or issue which, if unresolved during negotiations, would cause one party to withdraw from a deal:
But out of interest here’s something that could enlighten you.
Mr & Mrs Vito 