Real Love Looks Like Work – Love & Purpose

Hey Guys!!

Happy New Year to you all, we trust that this entry finds you all happy at the start of what promises to both be a great and interesting new year. We also hope that you have set your goals and are already in motion to figure out how  you can maximise of being effective towards your dreams. Someone reading this could be dreaming about the Man or Woman they are going to meet who will inevitably change their life for the better. Not that we depend on the person coming to be our all in all  but that we love ourselves enough to become dependable for the person who is coming. What about your pupose though surely without purpose there is no point to a relationship… WRONG!! Purpose will determine the kind of a relationships you allow to entertain. However the quality of your chosen relationship will determine how consistently you attend to your purpose.

So seeing as this is a mixed bag of tricks full of twists and turns #TeamVito has put together a workshop/seminar/conversation with those two underlying themes, Love & Purpose. Regardless of which one has come first for you whether Love or Purpose, you dont need to choose between one or the other but you must know that that the two affect each other in more ways than one. Come along and find out how you can walk these two down the route of fufilment.

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£8 when you arrive with proof of early bird registration.. thats a £2 discount! Otherwise £10 at the door.

We are so looking forward to seeing you all and having a good time talking and walking this path together for a few hours.

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https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/real-love-looks-like-work-love-purpose-tickets-31150402693

See you guys soon!!

 

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How to Handle Habitual Liars

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This one is for all the genuine people who are struggling with critical decisions about the lies they have been told and are being forced or coerced to live with.  With that being said let the sifting begin.

People who have lying tongues as a habit are dangerous to genuine people. When you see👀 or hear👂 lies confront them and address them with the truth. We don’t need to be rude when doing it just observant and careful not to do what is done to us. When confronting the person and in response they embellishes those lies with even more lies to cover their tracks then prepare your action plan and stop expecting the truth from such people.

Do you know the amount of futile thinking circles lies can make you do. Going around the same mountain of mindset again and again hoping to somehow come to the promise land(Peaceful Personal Conclusion) and enjoy the rewards of diligent thought. NO not with lies drugging your conclusions.

“You should also be bold enough to shamelessly cut liars loose from their commitment to you as their presence causes more anxiety and hidden confusion than actual safety”

Unfortunately whether it be a relationship with a new love or a business venture, or a new job that was sugar coated to gain our sympathy and commitment  we all seem to have this desire to turn the false outcome around and outsmart deception with our own version of events and reasoning. This is a recipe for self deception where we apply our lie to the lies we were told in order to maintain sanity and in many cases a falsely founded partnership. We can actually do better by accepting the truth about that partnership  before us and then seeking working solutions after disconnection from the lies.

“There are things we can stick around for but there are things we must shamelessly cut off.”

Few who have ever departed because of lies remain unhappy for very long. They become people who can decide what exactly works. Faithfulness to liars rarely benefits the faithful. Remember we are born creatures searching for the truth that will free us as opposed to the lies that will fleece us. Take your time and observe the consistency of the truth or the lie your partner in any venture upholds. When you know the quality of truth or the quality of lie. Make your next move swiftly.

“Remember the truth makes a man strong enough to remain free but the lie makes a man weak enough to stay and believe in what will not change even with false hope. ” – Mr Vito Speaks

With that said we hope this will help you deal effectively with habitual liars most especially when important decisions rely on truth and honesty.

Kind Regards

Mr & Mrs Vito

4 Precautions To Help You Fufil Purpose

We all have some sort of desire to live a fuller life, make better connections and strengthen the purpose for which we are living. The greatest challenge for most people is not doing their best when people are looking but its usually when people are not looking.

For men this is especially difficult because the habits we form in secret have a way of disarming even our public confidence. Porn, Anger, Suicide, Depression, Frustration, Helplessness, Laziness, even disadvantage…. all of these require courage to over come and stay out of.

When a man has not explored his potential he is vulnerable to discouragement and all these previously mentioned elements are ignited by a sense of inadequacy. In fact feeling like you are not good enough to do anything is worse when you’re alone. In isolation a man can think himself into a slumber or stubborness as the absence of courage leaves his personality crippled and voiceless.

I need you to know that courage to fulfil purpose is not easily found and as men we should learn to appreciate courage when it comes from somewhere other than our depressed self. There are multiple ways in which encouragement can come and its important to be open and connect with people who have the courage we yearn for. In the process one must understand that encouragement to someone who is in a slump can be frustration. It can foster dishonour and a deep lack of appreciation. Courage is a tough commodity to secure so when it seemingly comes for free we must give attention to it.

Here are few habits one would to adjust in order to respond well when Courage comes.

1) Beware of Flattery: Flattery can easily be mistaken for encouragement because it creates a false sense of security that is founded on foggy agenda. Flattery is the short cut to achieving rapport with someone but it is not what sustains it. Real encouragement comes with correction and a new level of discipline to reset bad ideas. Flattery makes you feel good for the moment but it does not produce sustainable returns. Encouragement is more long term it ushers the receiver onto a path of discovery and personal change. Encouragement challenges the state of a man and suggests that he is more than he has settled for.

2) Beware of Lies: Lies can fabricate entirely different situations in the state of a discouraged person. They can create internal division in a mans mind about his conviction and they confuse his course of action. When a man is told lies or is in the habit of telling them, this in effect causes an unstable mindset which in effect cannot succeed in fulfilling purpose. Fulfilling purpose at the cost of integrity is not fulfilling purpose at all, its actually compromising oneself and in doing so exposes the individual to discontentment.

3) Beware of Wilful blindness: In my line of work I constantly have to challenge negative mindsets and I find myself having to discourage some forms of behaviour and encourage others. What is unfortunate is that some times people protect their bad habits and disconnect themselves from affirmation for the sake of temporary joys. What they dont know is that they are nursing disadvantage. Inevitably these people end up hating good instruction because their temporary joy has created a monster they cannot overcome. Pride has stepped in to crown their disadvantage. Short of humility a wilfully blind person will persist on that path and it is very difficult to call them back unless they are willing to lay it all out.

4) Beware of Pride: Pride is personal, and when its not put on a leash or left unattended, it can be the root of all self deception. Pride creates a terrible self dependance that does not create a discerning well positioned individual.
Some people because of pride have abandoned courage and stood with the coward beneath. Pride suppresses speaking out of any kind that mobilises change. A lot of people want to change their ways but refuse to put pride aside because it hurts too much. Pride is a self defence technique for low self esteem.

3 Reasons Why Good Men Are Hard To Find

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Today’s good man is a rare elusive sight for most eligible and ready to marry women with their heads screwed on. Its clear there is some epidemic damaging availability and visibility.
Its also clear that many good women are interested in finding or being found by the right type of guys. In honour of this desire we have put together these 3 reasons to provoke some soul searching.

1) Women swoon over men who are not prepared to date: Some times ladies in their desire to connect with men often find themselves desiring a man who just isn’t ready. Some ladies even take offence at the man’s lack of readiness but their internal persistence pushes for a connection because of fear of missing out on “someone good”. They put their attention towards a man who looks like, even acts like but really isn’t prepared to be the right one for her. Constantly the woman is then forced to confront this lack of readiness and is more than likely to interpret it as rejection meanwhile the man’s lack of readiness is really fuelling her ailing insecurities. The truth is her focus should be on men who are ready to date. Unfortunately on the flip side the ones who are ready to date have their own hurdles to jump because they never present, Confident, Mature or Decisive long enough for her attention to be aroused. Until men come out the rubble of societies stereotypes and establish an identity that is based on personally enriched value systems and a follow through of those values then the rubble will on be piled on more and more until even the best of good men is invisible.

2) Using your friends “Seemingly Good Relationship” as an excuse to look for and date just any man. Many people claim to have particular tastes when it comes to the type of people to date but few of them know what they are really like when peer pressure pushes them. There is a tendency to crumble under pressure when their friend meets someone new and so to avoid dealing with envy, self imposed shame and discomfort they create space for a man who shouldnt be in their lives.  Straight away to the quiet eligible bachelor her choice shows she is incapable of choosing well. At the end of the day you need to be aware that Peer Pressure can drive you to envy. Your friends choice of man no matter who,  should drive you to learn how to choose well. When a friend is in a situation that provokes envy in you, it is important to work out the real reason for those feelings. If your friend has truly met a man who is one of a kind and you respect her opinion then surely you should look at what was happening before she met the man. Was she doing things you admire or things you despise. Your envy should not be “why does she have and I do not”. Become a student of how good choices are made and you will cultivate a humility your future husband will thank you for. “How did she get to be with who she is with?” That question will position you as a student on the path of learning.

3) The good guys are stuck in your friend zone. This is by far one of the worst curses of being perceived as being too good/nice/kind/available! There is little celebration of the fully available guy. Hes a great friend.. so what stands in the way of him becoming a good husband? Good men are hard to find because they are classified under “Undesirable(Physically Undesired) Friends” instead of “Men With Potential”. It is whatever/whomever a woman deems valuable that she will prioritise. Sometimes when your  guy “Friends” are not attractive in your eyes you may tend to mislabel them as failed experiments but its amazing how your opinions change when another woman sees the “Husband” you friend zoned. I would like to encourage you to treat every man with respect as you don’t know what kind of husband they could be. That being said if your friend zoned guy friend is a player why is he still in the friend zone? Someone like should make you feel uncomfortable. Just because you have not fallen victim to the womaniser doesn’t mean you should stick around and console the heart breaker. Why are you as a good woman giving respect and adding value to a man who by his actions is proving why he cannot be trusted!? The day untrustworthy men lose the respect they get from “good women” is the day we will see the emergence of all the good men who are hidden in the Friendzone.

 

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Relationship Notes – Faulty Opinions and Contortion

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There you are trying to fit in comfortably when you really should be standing out for being amazing but constantly you regard that persons often unfounded even unprovoked negative opinion of you so highly you end up contorting and conforming to becoming their ideal package when you are far much more vibrant and colourful than their thoughts.
Its a shame they only see the Caterpillar and never the butterfly.
Escape the Box
Dissolve the Cocoon
#beyourself #recovery #friendship #relationship #respect #honour #Growth #BeAmzaing #soulties #redefine #boundaries

Relationship Notes: The Value Of Other

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If you as a person only see the value of self and neglect that of others you erase hope stored on your Heart drive. Its not all about you! But guess what IT INVOLVES YOU. You seeing the value of others should not diminish your light or knock your shine but it should inspire you. REWIRE your agenda to reflect this and perhaps that hope in you will actually bring the needed Faith to Love because you can. #MoreThanAverage
#Men #Women #Love #Vision #Purpose #Hope #Faith #Wisdom

4 Tips For Better Networking in Real Life

Here are some tips to help men and women find some power in their presentation. We(The Vitos) are all about networking… Whatever the purpose of an event is we encourage people to really step into a place of confidence when planning to connect with new people.

Perhaps what I have witnessed more often than not is that people exude charisma on social media more than they do in person. The anonymity of no one ever finding out about our weaknesses makes people think that they never have to practice shaking peoples hands and learning better ways of presenting themselves in person. Sadly the truth is no matter how well one sells themselves on-line the proof is in the actual conversation, eye contact and the handshake I say.

Reguardless of where you are with your networking confidence here are some tweeted tips about networking that our friend shared we have drawn inspiration from them and they should get you thinking.

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1) Our dear friend put it quaintly with this one. Why would you dress up to frown? As a lady your smile is your invitation to a conversation during a buzzing networking event. You could be out at a speed dating event, but if your smile is upside down or you decided to bring your stern face you are in the wrong place. Business or pleasure, rest assured even a married man will not be coming near you if you look like you ate a wasp! That being said just because hes not your cup of tea it doesn’t mean you should treat him mean because he just might know the man who could be right for you. Dont spoil it please! Network!

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2) With this one I must echo @b_nanz sentiment. Men who don’t approach a woman with confidence are likely to get a cold shoulder anyway. She is not smiling but you as a man should practice approaching smiling woman in a warm way that affirms her presence but does not bull doze for a response. Essentially every man when he sees a woman he must look for more than the shape to determine his next set of lines. Your approach can really determine acceptance or total rejection. Yes she will look at how you are dressed and consider your potential but your words can wash away the presumptions. Dont be thirsty to drink her she is not a bottle of CHRYSTAL or A CANNED DRINK. Speak to her like royalty not a pauper and if she doesn’t understand your sober approach then errrrm she was never Royal to begin with.

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3) My question with this one is what are you doing when everyone is watching but you don’t know they are. Poor conduct always encourages scrutiny of personal values and self respect. A woman who acts wild wont really be a prime candidate for a man looking for that woman with keys to his soul. CRAZY can pretend but eventually she will come out. But a peaceful de minor at an event can provoke curiosity and intrigue enough for your number to be requested. In retrospect RATCHET(Loud and Disorderly) usually is an attempt to compensate for not being recognised or feeling unhappy about something or someone else. Before you do permit me to challenge you by saying first impressions last longest. If shes loud we cant be together unless I’m looking for a nightmare.

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4) Meeting someone new does not mean you are now in line for LOVE! It just means you are capable of holding decent conversations and its been somewhat mirrored by the other person. What you do from this point is crucial. Your job now is to learn about this person. They should remain a friend until proven otherwise. For the man who is eager its easy to shoot oneself in the foot by immediately going for jugular vein questions like “So why are you single? When can I see you again? Why are you giving me an email address? All these questions sound “Desperate for Attention” where as “What are your hobbies? Whats the last movie you went to watch? Are your friends here with you? How can I keep in contact with you because I enjoyed this conversation?” Remember in all things dont let the desire for sexual contact overwhelm your reason for connecting with this person. Sure they are attractive but that should not be your excuse to pursue sex. Rather let sex remain unfulfilled and be that be a side note and not the leader to your conversations with him/her.

Sexual attraction is only skin deep but real beauty is commitment worthy -Mr Vito

Someone is asking how did we go from networking. to sex to marriage? This is because no matter what area of life one is dealing with or what life you may have as a single man or single woman. These are things secretly buzzing around your head in various orders and combinations. Some prioritise well and it keeps them happy and other prioritise poorly and it keeps them exactly where they are desperately trying to escape from.

Heres proof of what Im talking about in action.

@MrandMrVito with the help of Tweets from @B_nanz