4 Precautions To Help You Fufil Purpose

We all have some sort of desire to live a fuller life, make better connections and strengthen the purpose for which we are living. The greatest challenge for most people is not doing their best when people are looking but its usually when people are not looking.

For men this is especially difficult because the habits we form in secret have a way of disarming even our public confidence. Porn, Anger, Suicide, Depression, Frustration, Helplessness, Laziness, even disadvantage…. all of these require courage to over come and stay out of.

When a man has not explored his potential he is vulnerable to discouragement and all these previously mentioned elements are ignited by a sense of inadequacy. In fact feeling like you are not good enough to do anything is worse when you’re alone. In isolation a man can think himself into a slumber or stubborness as the absence of courage leaves his personality crippled and voiceless.

I need you to know that courage to fulfil purpose is not easily found and as men we should learn to appreciate courage when it comes from somewhere other than our depressed self. There are multiple ways in which encouragement can come and its important to be open and connect with people who have the courage we yearn for. In the process one must understand that encouragement to someone who is in a slump can be frustration. It can foster dishonour and a deep lack of appreciation. Courage is a tough commodity to secure so when it seemingly comes for free we must give attention to it.

Here are few habits one would to adjust in order to respond well when Courage comes.

1) Beware of Flattery: Flattery can easily be mistaken for encouragement because it creates a false sense of security that is founded on foggy agenda. Flattery is the short cut to achieving rapport with someone but it is not what sustains it. Real encouragement comes with correction and a new level of discipline to reset bad ideas. Flattery makes you feel good for the moment but it does not produce sustainable returns. Encouragement is more long term it ushers the receiver onto a path of discovery and personal change. Encouragement challenges the state of a man and suggests that he is more than he has settled for.

2) Beware of Lies: Lies can fabricate entirely different situations in the state of a discouraged person. They can create internal division in a mans mind about his conviction and they confuse his course of action. When a man is told lies or is in the habit of telling them, this in effect causes an unstable mindset which in effect cannot succeed in fulfilling purpose. Fulfilling purpose at the cost of integrity is not fulfilling purpose at all, its actually compromising oneself and in doing so exposes the individual to discontentment.

3) Beware of Wilful blindness: In my line of work I constantly have to challenge negative mindsets and I find myself having to discourage some forms of behaviour and encourage others. What is unfortunate is that some times people protect their bad habits and disconnect themselves from affirmation for the sake of temporary joys. What they dont know is that they are nursing disadvantage. Inevitably these people end up hating good instruction because their temporary joy has created a monster they cannot overcome. Pride has stepped in to crown their disadvantage. Short of humility a wilfully blind person will persist on that path and it is very difficult to call them back unless they are willing to lay it all out.

4) Beware of Pride: Pride is personal, and when its not put on a leash or left unattended, it can be the root of all self deception. Pride creates a terrible self dependance that does not create a discerning well positioned individual.
Some people because of pride have abandoned courage and stood with the coward beneath. Pride suppresses speaking out of any kind that mobilises change. A lot of people want to change their ways but refuse to put pride aside because it hurts too much. Pride is a self defence technique for low self esteem.

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Some Things You Shouldnt Sweep Under The Carpet

depression-1

There are so many of us chugging along like restless machines that have no rest and most times no need for any form of relaxation. Perhaps because we are working towards a goal that needs relentless pursuit and so we find that activity our greatest occupation until another type of feeling begins to consume our attitudes and performance.

You know when a person goes through (terrible)things in life it never shows on their face, not with the make up we wear and the addictions we feed. If it does show on your face then that thing has gone too far but most of us know how to cover up our hurts and discomforts through the occasional selfie, twerk video, porn addiction, alcohol, weed toking, gambling, risk taking, sexual escapades and a variety of other things to just numb the mind from the following feelings. Are you experiencing any of these symptoms individually or collectively?

fatigue

  • Lacking energy or feeling tired

I feel these things a lot times and its usually when dealing with unwilling students during my work time or stubbornness towards a solution I believe will help the individuals I’m offering counsel to. That’s my personal energy drainer and I find myself having to with hold well thought out expressions in order to preserve my energy for weightier matters. Remember your energy always needs somewhere good to go. So reserve excessive effort for the willing. But if you are at the stage of being out of energy you need to the right thing about it and stop depleting your reserves.

restless

  • Feeling restless and agitated

Restless: unable to rest or relax as a result of anxiety or boredom

Agitation: feeling or appearing troubled or nervous

When your feel restless or agitated there is usually some procrastination involved. Perhaps you are avoiding doing something necessary to please someone else and even side-lining your emotions and suppressing your gifts and this is causing issues in your performance. Maybe its worth writing your feelings down and letting them stay on the paper as opposed to your heart. As you review your thoughts it is likely your will come to a conclusion about where you are headed to next.

weeping

  • Feeling tearful

There’s nothing more therapeutic than having a good cry. We probably all do it more frequently than we would like to admit but there does come a time when we need to ensure that our tears do not inspire us to do things we will later regret. Tears are so precious that they should be carried in a bottle but when we find ourselves crying rivers we need to get help. Ladies if you didn’t know men cry too. I need you to know that our tears can come from the same hurts you experience. We too at some points feel the discrimination that society piles upon us. We feel the burden of disappointment and the glass ceiling against our professional aspirations. We feel it all and most times we don’t know what to do with those feelings.

isolation

  • Not wanting to talk to or be with people

Yep here is a common one. The things you feel and experience you don’t want to share because they make you seem smaller. I completely understand. Sometimes you just want to turn your phone off and unplug from false expectations and the pretentiousness you see on the small and the big screen. The kind of things that usually make you smile and click are not as entertaining anymore. That human to human disconnect is real and depending on the kind of city you live in this can be common occurrence but surely you should know there are states of mind that are not sustainable. Pick up the phone and make a call and laugh during that conversation.

enthusiasm

    • Not wanting to do things you usually enjoy

When you stop doing things you enjoy essentially the passionate part of you is buried beneath your depression. its worth always exploring what is killing your joy. Joy, like purposeful activity is the fuel of enthusiasm and when your fuel is gone you are gone. This is difficult for some people to process but you must attend to your depression and convert your slump. Depression is greedy and always wants more than just the situation that created or forged it.

alcoholism

    • Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings

When your addiction is your prescription you are very much dancing on the edge of your sanity . Its a deep abyss that has no light. You cannot find hope in your addictions. When we have turned to extreme behaviour to remedy things we are creating very tough circumstances. Perhaps even worse than the one we are in. Its worth considering getting some professional help with that. Dont let your addictions create a hopeless world in you because that is exactly what you will reflect with your physical action.

 

    • Finding it hard to cope with everyday things

When everyday things are a hassle you need to return to your first love and get calibrated again. This is another point worth talking over with someone who cares about you and committing to work through is so that you dont lounge in the wrong situation.

Rightly so I want you to know that this happens to all of us from time to time. You could be stuck in a dead end job, friendship group, dead end abusive relationship, circumstance and just even the thoughts about it are killing your determination. You could be suicidal as you read this. Its perfectly natural to feel such feelings from time to time but it is not healthy to live in any of these states for prolonged periods of time. These tough economic times we live in call for a tough heart but by reason of not addressing our setbacks openly we are secretly vulnerable to depression, anxiety, worry, stress and illness too. Sometimes you need to take the time out to talk things through. Most people look down on counselling, coaching, mentoring, and therapy because they don’t believe their mental health can be coached, coaxed, strengthened or convicted to a better state but perhaps its time you put your pride aside and got the help you need before things get more complicated. Many of us are trying to be strong but we are dying inwardly. Many of us are smiling but internally we mourn the days past wishing them back so much we return to bad situations, maintain bad situations, reward bad situations that are useless to our present state and even promote our demise.

Here’s somewhere you can start.

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More Than Average

Lifestyle Notes: Are You Drinking Too Much Workahol?

We trust that our thoughts find you dealing with your year in a smarter way and ultimately becoming better at what you do and even better at picking who you what you do with.

We are of the idea that one can and should work hard to achieve that which will bring fufilment. However in the process of seeking to attain achievements we should not become VICTIMS of our accomplishments. You hear the phrase spoken frequently in different working circles. #GRINDIN #HUSTLEHARD #GRAFTING #WORK #TEAMNOSLEEP #TEAMTOMORROWNEVERDIES #TEAMWEAREMACHINES.

No matter the vision one seeks to accomplish we know one thing is for sure every vision has a set time that might not always be in our control. Whether a corporate firm or a social enterprise whatever the vision we must apportion a time for REST and RECREATION, intentionally and pace our stability and personal growth in the process of pursuing our goals. Some people by reason of the amount of “WORK” they do dont even have to sign a contract to “sell their souls to the devil”. They sell their most vital energies instead. They pass on unhealthy ethos to their work colleagues, crazy signals to their families and even shunt their spouses in Favour of inanimate objects and the things those objects attract. Ironically this quote serves as direction for every person who understands that the condition of the Vision is as important as the condition of the visionary. Your Health and your wealth go hand in hand.

“Experts say the incessant work-related activity masks anxiety, low self-esteem, and intimacy problems. And as with addictions to alcohol, drugs or gambling, workaholics’ denial and destructive behavior will persist despite feedback from loved ones or danger signs such as deteriorating relationships. Poor health is another warning sign. Because there’s less of a social stigma attached to workaholism than to other addictions, health symptoms can easily go undiagnosed or unrecognized, say researchers.”

You know you are working too hard when you exhibit minor or fully blown signs of the following

– ANXIETY
– LOW SELF ESTEEM
-INTIMACY PROBLEMS

Why do you need to start having mental breakdowns before you decide to rest or find a spouse to share your life with. Why do you need to experience a stress related health defect before you realise “Perhaps the objects are not as important as the people around me”.

As the Vito’s we believe in both working smart and connecting with other people well. The right balance due to demands can sometimes be swayed one side to the other but rather than become victims of circumstances we are responsible for, it is just wiser to look ahead and plan our stability through the processes of life as well as the victory dance.

We encourage you to work smart every day and stay away from short cuts to your vision. Patiently strive to be an example of what it means to be a well thought out individual, couple, collective and organisation.

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If you are looking to potentially find better ways to balance yourself as a more wholesome individual, please feel free to purchase of our Book
For More Info PLEASE CLICK HERE

All Things Said With Love and Respect
Enquiries and Questions Can Be Sent To
@MrandMrsVito
mrandmrsvito@gmail.com