Relationship Notes: Divorce Is Not An Option

“COUPLES COULD PAY THE PRICE IN THE DIVORCE DEALS DUE TO CUTS IN LEGAL AID”

According to an article In the EVENING STANDARD

“LEGAL AID is now no longer available for most divorce cases due to spending cuts which see money restricted for a few high priority cases. It means divorcing wives and husbands face either a costly legal bill to pay for a lawyer or the daunting prospect of representing themselves for those without the funds”.

Lola and I believe that it takes a lot to get to the stage of divorce, simultaneously we also believe that in an age of mentors, information and timeless revelation….

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” Proverbs

As avid encourager’s of togetherness Lola and I have constantly found that the state of marriage is often affected by the state of the minds of the Lovers involved and although we don’t want it to, the state of couples minds is often affected by the following factors.

MONEY PROBLEMS

CHILDREN’S DISCIPLINE

SEX & ITS FREQUENCY

TIME SPENT APART

HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES

FRIENDS

IRRITATING HABITS

PERSONALITY CONFLICTS

INFIDELITY

FAMILY

EXPECTATIONS

Perhaps its as a result of all the above that we as people should strive for better handling of issues as when they arise and prevent what we can. That being said a worthwhile marriage is not built on shunting the things we are uncomfortable with under the carpet and then hoping the rats and mice will usher all our rubbish out. Lola and I find ourselves in situations as you would expect every married couple is supposed to, I think its not an enduring marriage if has not been tested with some kind of annoying afflictions that makes you feel like its a hopeless ship that should sink with the next wave. Remember the problems you are experiencing are REAL and neither should you suppress the feelings that come with them. The feelings serve as an indicator that there should be a change from within to encourage progress not a reason to part ways. Divorce seems like an easy way out, for those of you considering Co-Habitus Relationships, however LAWS will one day come into play where splitting with your partner may be like filing for divorce so don’t consider that as an easy way out.

Marriage is a RELATION-SHIP! A ship in which you should get over yourself as quickly as possible and learn to start RELATING on issues that keep the LOVE BOAT sailing to destiny before someone secretly gets thrown over board. Despite all the issues that come with marriage you find that most people want to find themselves walking down the aisle in style (SPENDING LIKE BOSSES) for the day and then crying a few months later. Perhaps the allure of marriage is the HONOUR that comes with it, and the ability to also work on these challenges in life with someone who cares about you. I mean when you’re hit hard by the issues mentioned as a single person, short of having a divine support system its very hard to maintain personal momentum and personal balance. Our greatest successes depend on stable relationships VISIBLE or INVISIBLE to the public eye.

Essentially permit me to encourage you that a more meaningful marriage or journey to it comes from facing your hiccups with yourself and the person or people you trust. Looking at the list above reminds Lola and I that we are still growing, some things we are yet to face but others we were facing before we consummated the marriage.

For those of you young and married seek the help you need to deal with your challenges. If youre going to overcome the issues above then let this list of donts encourage a unique perspective. Talk to your partner, be a partner not just by law but by active participation and contribution to solution.

-Don’t let marriage MUTE you!

-Don’t let PRIDE recruit you!

-Don’t let MONEY OR LACK OR EVEN THE LOVE of it divide you!

-Don’t let BAD FRIENDSHIPS RUIN you!

-Don’t let UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS fool you!

-Don’t let your FAMILIES rule you!

-Don’t let HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES confuse you!

-Don’t Let IRRITATING HABITS consume you!

-Don’t let SEX, ITS FREQUENCY or its ABSENCE delude you!

-Don’t let CHILDREN’S DISCIPLINE be a civil war!

-Don’t let INFIDELITY be an option!

Some solutions to a lot of these problems don’t become clear until you have honestly overcome them, or you’re blessed enough to avoid them. May courage keep you strong as you overcome your challenges in similar ways in which we overcome ours daily.

The UK has gained a reputation as the divorce capital of the world because of the multi-million-pound settlements awarded to former partners. Sir Paul McCartney was required to pay Heather Mills £24.3m after four years of marriage. Beverley Charman, the former wife of John Charman, an insurance magnate, recently received £48m.

The Guardian

Choose well and you will live life happy! – Mr and Mrs Vito

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