Closing The Deal With The Opposite Sex

Some people want that confidence to approach a woman and start a meaning conversation that could hopefully lead to a fulfilling companionship. We can as men imagine all that we want but the truth is our imaginations and visualisations mean nothing if we haven’t done anything about them. Its time to build the confidence to close the deal!

In this show we talked at length about how to make a move on the opposite sex and reducing the hesitation that comes up when we fear being rejected and the misconceptions that people have about starting a conversation with someone they like.

Twitter – @LTAIRADIOSHOW

Facebook – Lets Talk About It

Fighting Depression With Companionship

Have you ever wondered how relationships can help us build a stronger resistance against issues like Depression and Low self esteem? Well in this clip we discussed it! No one said life would be easy but we cannot and should never under estimate the power of companionship. It could make the difference in the dark days.

Enjoy and Share With Others

Facebook – Lets Talk About It

Twitter – @LTAIRadioShow

A Woman’s Preparation Before Love

Do you want to find love that lasts and makes a difference to you and the people around. Every woman intent on this should take the time to prepare. HOW? we hear you ask. Well it starts with preparation of the heart. A lot of people prioritise physical attraction and there’s little wrong with it but its incomplete if thats where your prep ends. You can attract but can you keep and can you make it grow.

This Broadcast clip is taken from our Radio Show -Lets Talk About It and in the discussion was on preparing for love.

Take a listen through the player below.

Thursdays @ 7pm – http://tunein.com/radio/Reconcilers-Radio-s209678/

 

The Good News Is – We Have A Radio Show!

Let's Talk About It

Ladies and Gentlemen, so sorry we have seemingly been quiet. #TeamVito has been busy trying to create some more things you can enjoy. Following on from our Real Love Looks Like Work Events… 7! to be precise a great opportunity opened up for us that we knew was right to take advantage of. An Organisation whom we had spoken at their events some 2 years back offered us the chance to host a radio show on their behalf. The organisation is called the OFNC. Aside from the honour we felt to represent them on radio it was proof that there is so much more work to do to help people find out more about how to grow and pace their relationships.

So having taken it on, our show is now on Thursdays @ 7pm on this link right here. http://www.reconcilersradio.net/ or you can access the show via the Tune Inn app just by searching for Reconcilers Radio when in doubt here is another link

Now beyond this we want you to join us during our discussions by giving us a call or getting involved on our social media.

FACEBOOK

https://www.facebook.com/Lets-Talk-About-It-1047340565309068

TWITTER

@lTAIrashow

We are already 10 shows in and want you guys to be part of this growing journey with us. So we hope you tune in on Thursday Evenings.

 

 

The Secret Labours Of Love

Relationships still remain a touchy affair for a lot of people..Everyone wants to progress into the right one but they go for the wrong one and try to make it work out like the right ones do instead of doing the secret labours that those in the right ones do for them to work best in… Love is supposed to work but for all the right reasons and it will if a choice is made to push in the same agreed direction.

How I wish that it was simpler for people to find love and keep it going, but we are seeing this become more evident in the rocky relationships of our favourite celebrities and the sometimes seemingly none existent relationships our parents are in. There are things beneath the surface that a camera cannot capture or an instagram picture cannot capture, we may be able to record the physical whereabouts of our loved ones and stalk their social media accounts and even read their habits through their web searches but when it comes to the control of someone’s emotional energy and their internal choices no one can predict them. This indeed is where secret labours come into play.

Secret labours of Love go far beyond what we can touch and actually work on how to control how and what  we feel. When I’m in doubt about what I can see happening in my relationship I must put my pride aside no matter how difficult to resolve my doubts and that happens through going back to the purpose for which I’m with the woman I chose and literally linking the dots about the source of my internal conflicts. She too must learn to do her own secret labours and avoid compartmentalising her frustrations.   A secret labour is making choices like thinking right before you answer the woman you love. Secret labour is reading a book, going to a seminar, talking to level headed counsel about what makes women tick and using the things learned to decipher the complexity that is your woman. Secret labour is learning to say sorry for your embarrassing actions and resolving internally not to do it again as opposed to avoiding getting caught with your pants down. Secret labours are ensuring you have nothing incriminating on your phone and neither do you find yourself attracting or sticking around people who bring out that kind of thing in you. Secret labours are protecting your home by regularly communicating with your wife about your concerns and sweeping nothing under the carpet. Secret labours include actually forgiving your Spouse especially when you understand the reasons for their wrong doing. Secret labours are working on yourself regularly enough to see progress that you are proud of. Secret labours are accepting responsibility is not the worst thing in the world.

A whole host of things that people don’t do but yes they still expect their Love to work like clock work. If only they knew that SECRET LABOURS make all the difference and provide a unique perspective on the future of their relationship. I recently read somewhere that people spend more money trying to fix a disastrous relationship than they do preventing the disaster.

Use secret labours and make your relationship a fortified place of intimacy, personal discovery and motivation.

Come and learn more about Secret Labours that make the difference.

How to Handle Habitual Liars

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This one is for all the genuine people who are struggling with critical decisions about the lies they have been told and are being forced or coerced to live with.  With that being said let the sifting begin.

People who have lying tongues as a habit are dangerous to genuine people. When you see👀 or hear👂 lies confront them and address them with the truth. We don’t need to be rude when doing it just observant and careful not to do what is done to us. When confronting the person and in response they embellishes those lies with even more lies to cover their tracks then prepare your action plan and stop expecting the truth from such people.

Do you know the amount of futile thinking circles lies can make you do. Going around the same mountain of mindset again and again hoping to somehow come to the promise land(Peaceful Personal Conclusion) and enjoy the rewards of diligent thought. NO not with lies drugging your conclusions.

“You should also be bold enough to shamelessly cut liars loose from their commitment to you as their presence causes more anxiety and hidden confusion than actual safety”

Unfortunately whether it be a relationship with a new love or a business venture, or a new job that was sugar coated to gain our sympathy and commitment  we all seem to have this desire to turn the false outcome around and outsmart deception with our own version of events and reasoning. This is a recipe for self deception where we apply our lie to the lies we were told in order to maintain sanity and in many cases a falsely founded partnership. We can actually do better by accepting the truth about that partnership  before us and then seeking working solutions after disconnection from the lies.

“There are things we can stick around for but there are things we must shamelessly cut off.”

Few who have ever departed because of lies remain unhappy for very long. They become people who can decide what exactly works. Faithfulness to liars rarely benefits the faithful. Remember we are born creatures searching for the truth that will free us as opposed to the lies that will fleece us. Take your time and observe the consistency of the truth or the lie your partner in any venture upholds. When you know the quality of truth or the quality of lie. Make your next move swiftly.

“Remember the truth makes a man strong enough to remain free but the lie makes a man weak enough to stay and believe in what will not change even with false hope. ” – Mr Vito Speaks

With that said we hope this will help you deal effectively with habitual liars most especially when important decisions rely on truth and honesty.

Kind Regards

Mr & Mrs Vito

KIWTV – Real Love Looks Like Work 6

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Hey guys so this happened the other day! #TeamVito would like to thank all those who came down to our KIWTV Event – Real Love Looks Like Work 6

The event was themed “The Love Life Of An Entrepreneur”.  We are so greatful for the attendance and the amazing contributions that were made by our panelists. For those who were there we hope that experience has put a hop in your next steps and helped you to shape more seriously the kind of relationship you are planning to go into or the one you’re in. All subjects covered on the night although not exhaustive are covered to provoke you to thought and practical action that will lead to good results in Love and Business.  We remain greatful again for the support and the  Love shown to us and you can bet that our next event will compliment all that we have done so far.

If you would like to see some topics thrown into the mix for out next event feel free to email us on Mrandmrsvito@gmail.com and will get back to you with our thoughts.  Thanks again to you all.

Remember

Real Love Looks Like Work!

Kind regards

Mr & Mrs Vito

4 Precautions To Help You Fufil Purpose

We all have some sort of desire to live a fuller life, make better connections and strengthen the purpose for which we are living. The greatest challenge for most people is not doing their best when people are looking but its usually when people are not looking.

For men this is especially difficult because the habits we form in secret have a way of disarming even our public confidence. Porn, Anger, Suicide, Depression, Frustration, Helplessness, Laziness, even disadvantage…. all of these require courage to over come and stay out of.

When a man has not explored his potential he is vulnerable to discouragement and all these previously mentioned elements are ignited by a sense of inadequacy. In fact feeling like you are not good enough to do anything is worse when you’re alone. In isolation a man can think himself into a slumber or stubborness as the absence of courage leaves his personality crippled and voiceless.

I need you to know that courage to fulfil purpose is not easily found and as men we should learn to appreciate courage when it comes from somewhere other than our depressed self. There are multiple ways in which encouragement can come and its important to be open and connect with people who have the courage we yearn for. In the process one must understand that encouragement to someone who is in a slump can be frustration. It can foster dishonour and a deep lack of appreciation. Courage is a tough commodity to secure so when it seemingly comes for free we must give attention to it.

Here are few habits one would to adjust in order to respond well when Courage comes.

1) Beware of Flattery: Flattery can easily be mistaken for encouragement because it creates a false sense of security that is founded on foggy agenda. Flattery is the short cut to achieving rapport with someone but it is not what sustains it. Real encouragement comes with correction and a new level of discipline to reset bad ideas. Flattery makes you feel good for the moment but it does not produce sustainable returns. Encouragement is more long term it ushers the receiver onto a path of discovery and personal change. Encouragement challenges the state of a man and suggests that he is more than he has settled for.

2) Beware of Lies: Lies can fabricate entirely different situations in the state of a discouraged person. They can create internal division in a mans mind about his conviction and they confuse his course of action. When a man is told lies or is in the habit of telling them, this in effect causes an unstable mindset which in effect cannot succeed in fulfilling purpose. Fulfilling purpose at the cost of integrity is not fulfilling purpose at all, its actually compromising oneself and in doing so exposes the individual to discontentment.

3) Beware of Wilful blindness: In my line of work I constantly have to challenge negative mindsets and I find myself having to discourage some forms of behaviour and encourage others. What is unfortunate is that some times people protect their bad habits and disconnect themselves from affirmation for the sake of temporary joys. What they dont know is that they are nursing disadvantage. Inevitably these people end up hating good instruction because their temporary joy has created a monster they cannot overcome. Pride has stepped in to crown their disadvantage. Short of humility a wilfully blind person will persist on that path and it is very difficult to call them back unless they are willing to lay it all out.

4) Beware of Pride: Pride is personal, and when its not put on a leash or left unattended, it can be the root of all self deception. Pride creates a terrible self dependance that does not create a discerning well positioned individual.
Some people because of pride have abandoned courage and stood with the coward beneath. Pride suppresses speaking out of any kind that mobilises change. A lot of people want to change their ways but refuse to put pride aside because it hurts too much. Pride is a self defence technique for low self esteem.

3 Reasons Why Good Men Are Hard To Find

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Today’s good man is a rare elusive sight for most eligible and ready to marry women with their heads screwed on. Its clear there is some epidemic damaging availability and visibility.
Its also clear that many good women are interested in finding or being found by the right type of guys. In honour of this desire we have put together these 3 reasons to provoke some soul searching.

1) Women swoon over men who are not prepared to date: Some times ladies in their desire to connect with men often find themselves desiring a man who just isn’t ready. Some ladies even take offence at the man’s lack of readiness but their internal persistence pushes for a connection because of fear of missing out on “someone good”. They put their attention towards a man who looks like, even acts like but really isn’t prepared to be the right one for her. Constantly the woman is then forced to confront this lack of readiness and is more than likely to interpret it as rejection meanwhile the man’s lack of readiness is really fuelling her ailing insecurities. The truth is her focus should be on men who are ready to date. Unfortunately on the flip side the ones who are ready to date have their own hurdles to jump because they never present, Confident, Mature or Decisive long enough for her attention to be aroused. Until men come out the rubble of societies stereotypes and establish an identity that is based on personally enriched value systems and a follow through of those values then the rubble will on be piled on more and more until even the best of good men is invisible.

2) Using your friends “Seemingly Good Relationship” as an excuse to look for and date just any man. Many people claim to have particular tastes when it comes to the type of people to date but few of them know what they are really like when peer pressure pushes them. There is a tendency to crumble under pressure when their friend meets someone new and so to avoid dealing with envy, self imposed shame and discomfort they create space for a man who shouldnt be in their lives.  Straight away to the quiet eligible bachelor her choice shows she is incapable of choosing well. At the end of the day you need to be aware that Peer Pressure can drive you to envy. Your friends choice of man no matter who,  should drive you to learn how to choose well. When a friend is in a situation that provokes envy in you, it is important to work out the real reason for those feelings. If your friend has truly met a man who is one of a kind and you respect her opinion then surely you should look at what was happening before she met the man. Was she doing things you admire or things you despise. Your envy should not be “why does she have and I do not”. Become a student of how good choices are made and you will cultivate a humility your future husband will thank you for. “How did she get to be with who she is with?” That question will position you as a student on the path of learning.

3) The good guys are stuck in your friend zone. This is by far one of the worst curses of being perceived as being too good/nice/kind/available! There is little celebration of the fully available guy. Hes a great friend.. so what stands in the way of him becoming a good husband? Good men are hard to find because they are classified under “Undesirable(Physically Undesired) Friends” instead of “Men With Potential”. It is whatever/whomever a woman deems valuable that she will prioritise. Sometimes when your  guy “Friends” are not attractive in your eyes you may tend to mislabel them as failed experiments but its amazing how your opinions change when another woman sees the “Husband” you friend zoned. I would like to encourage you to treat every man with respect as you don’t know what kind of husband they could be. That being said if your friend zoned guy friend is a player why is he still in the friend zone? Someone like should make you feel uncomfortable. Just because you have not fallen victim to the womaniser doesn’t mean you should stick around and console the heart breaker. Why are you as a good woman giving respect and adding value to a man who by his actions is proving why he cannot be trusted!? The day untrustworthy men lose the respect they get from “good women” is the day we will see the emergence of all the good men who are hidden in the Friendzone.

 

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The One Who Broke My Heart

The Best Revenge

The morning after we broke up, I woke up with a strange unexpected sense of freedom. It was a feeling I would only understand the gravity of, in the months that followed.

We met in Church; and about 2 weeks later and there she was, dressed in traditional cloth. She was like a bright light, shining with her friends, who were buzzing around her like maids preparing her for a King. I have to be honest, I was instantly more attracted to her. In her, I saw all my fantasies. A traditional, calm, easy going woman with something more to give, than the onslaught of sexuality that most offer. She was young, bright eyed and “looked” ready for love.

It wasn’t long before we started hanging out, going to Church together or having in depth conversations about faith and perseverance. Even through the hardest times we had faced, I had found someone to share my journey with. In 3 months she knew more about me, than my family did.

Perhaps in your personal intrigue you can answer this. Why did I lobby my own mother into allowing this girl to move into our home, when her own mother threw her out for her “rude” behaviour? What did I overlook in my list of requirements, for a girlfriend (who would progress into wife)? Why did I lose many significant friendships with people I loved because of this girl? What did she say to me? What did she say to them? Why did I lose my job with a credible mentor because of this girl? How did she affect my performance at work? A role that was paying for her food and her living arrangements! She was hot for all the wrong reasons.. Why didn’t I let her go?

To help answer these questions, you might want to use your imagination and fill in the gaps. Apply your own experience or knowledge of a manipulator, gold digger or an angry, unruly, highly intelligent and extremely self centered woman.

I believe I had met someone who had mastered the Art of Seduction and thoroughly imbibed the 48 Laws of Power.

Unfortunately, I was the willing victim of her anger and tempestuous habits. When she did wrong, it was me who would constantly say “I’m sorry”, to her or on her behalf. I constantly had to excuse her behaviour, but at what stage did she stand up for me? According to her, it was when I wasn’t there! How convenient that not once did I ever see that fire and passion being used for my benefit. It was always against me and the people who were decent enough to endure my choice of a girlfriend.

Our living arrangements were formulated in hell by my own hands. In the private moments we had, it still felt like I was being used and the essence of my manly strength was being taken away. This woman was an insult to my self esteem, she did very little to encourage my personal progress. Perhaps I should have let go, the first time she started exhibiting signs of unfaithfulness. Including the long phone calls to people who did not know about me. The near kisses, actual kisses and fondles with those very same strangers she entertained on the phone and “study dates”?

Not once could I claim that she was as refreshing as the first day I saw her. I ignored everyone that spoke sense, about how a sober woman was supposed to behave. I was hooked to the most destructive relationship I had ever known. I was hooked because, she seemed like the only person who showed me attention.

I really should have gone to spec savers…….

Well I did and guess who Im working with now? REAL LOVE LOOKS LIKE WORK