In Bae We Trust Too Much!?

Mr Vito Speaks

Firstly what is BAE and how did we get here? Well..

Bae,” Urban Dictionary says, is an acronym that stands for “before anyone else,” or a shortened version of baby or babe, another word for sweetie, and, mostly unrelated, poop in Danish.25 Jul 2014

I was intrigued by the definition “Before Anyone Else” It kind of lets you know how important or rather how much of your time,effort and attention this one person can get but what happens when that person takes on the danish meaning of Bae? Do we accept and still keep them before anyone else? Do we remain dedicated and loyal to foolishness or do we depart in an orderly fashion and lie in wait for the next Bae? I mean it brings up so many questions but how do we deal with all this? Sometimes the reason it doesnt last with…

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She’s Changed

Dear Mrs Vito

Transitioning and navigating from single-hood to a relationship, especially when you know it’s a serious relationship can be hard.
Ideally at this time you want your friends and family to get on with your chosen guy/girl. But what if they don’t?

I personally picked a guy that truly challenged my perceptions, norms and comfort zone. In my opinion to an extreme, except he wasn’t an extremist. Because, if I’m harsh with myself  I was ok with playing it safe.

Of course I had goals, ambitions and was driven. Yet not being a huge risk taker meant I often stayed within my comfort zone.

Never one to start a fight, or unsettle a situation. He definitely instilled more confidence in me to stand up for myself, voice my opinion and make a change.

From the outside this can easily be viewed as someone changing, or that they are not being themselves…

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#TeamVito Will Be At “The Faithfulness Of God” FVTV

Greetings people so it’s been a good few weeks and the events where you can’t catch dining our thing are mounting up. This weekend we are in great company of Family Values TV great presentation. It’s called the Faithfulness of God and we are honoured and priveledged to be a part of this great conversation. We will be running Workshops and Seminars as well as Q & A’s around Building relationships Gods way.  

Whether you know it or not Relationships are part and parcel of fufilling your purpose. Someone once said that when you are  on your sick bed you won’t be asking to see your bank account but your family and those who are close to you. Wise up and cultivate that which matters most to your legacy. The fact remains we living in a generation where people have the strongest sense of entitlement to love, to power, to influence, to sex, to respect amongst other things but rarely do they invest in the person they are to become to manage what they believe they are entitled to. That lack of preparation is the reason the generations to come are suffering from pain and disillusionment as the political, financial and other landscapes change. We cannot be the people we need to be without effective preparation and insight. So before we get too deep on this post. We hope to see you there this weekend. 

Kingly regards

#TeamVito.

#TeamVito Will Be At?

Hey Guys,

We both trust that you are all doing well. We continue to be busy trying to help people find, keep and grow love. Now of course we have some lovely events for you to get your wisdom teeth into. Yes you are most certainly cordially invited to our next excursion where we will be talking the talk of daily walkers loool

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#INBAEWETRUST?

Friday 21st of October 2016 6:30 PM – 9 PM

The event is centred on the concept of placing God at the centre of any relationship and will touch on themes such as: masculinity, cat fishing, dating apps, God’s timing and so much mo along with many other special guests and it promises to be an awesome experience.

UCL,
Gower Street,
CT14 9 London,
United Kingdom
6:30 PM – 9 PM
Entry is £3
We hope to see you there guys there.
More good news to come, keep your eyes peeled and keep focused on the things that matter till then.
Mr & Mrs Vito

He Suffers From Housework Allergies

Dear Mrs Vito, 

My Husband and I have been married for a year now, we had a beautiful wedding and an even better honeymoon. We both work and have busy schedules, but make time for each other, from going out, having dates nights to chilling at home. I don’t feel like i’m asking for much but he seems to be allergic to helping out at home. For example, if we’ve both been at work, and i get home i’ll make us a meal, it would be nice if he at least washed up, but he doesn’t. Its almost like he expects me to do everything, its a “woman’s role” is what he said once. I do most, if not all of the house work and literally have to beg and plead for him to help, which he calls “nagging”. Lately I’ve given up and do it all, but its a real issue for me, because i feel like he is taking me for granted. To be honest, i didn’t think he would be like this.

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Dear Anon,

When two individuals (independent in thought & behaviour) live together from two different backgrounds, you’re bound to have teething problems. Remember, you have both been taught how to do the same thing in different ways, i.e you are used to washing and drying the plates, meanwhile he had a dishwasher. Or living in a family whereby things are done for you, compared to where you have to share chores, all play a part on how you see yourself carrying out such tasks in the future. Also if you take into consideration past independent living skills, i.e if he lived alone he would have had to tackle housework at some point, but if he still lived with family, before marriage someone would do it eventually.

Sometimes its not that he can’t do these things, its that he won’t/doesn’t, and that’s probably what you resent. He may be aware that you want him to help out around the house because you “nag”him. Not the best way he could describe it, as i’m sure this term doesn’t make you feel good. Yet, unless you spell out your thoughts, he may not be aware that its driving a wedge between the two of you.

If we believe that husbands and wives are partners in love and life then this needs to reflect in day to day activities; discussions need to be had on what we priorities and why. If one of you priorities the need for a clean home, then so should the other. Is not acceptable for your husband to think “if she’s going to do it, then why do I need to do it”. Understandably you’ll feel unappreciated and resentful.

Communication is key, I would suggest having a conversation with your husband; not the typical “you need to wash up more”, but about how you are feeling, why you are feeling that way and what could help to make things better. Its easy to assume that when you get married, things will fall into place, “a wife or husband should know their duties” but without articulating what your expectations are, we can not expect the other person to read our mind. What might be obvious to you, is not to the other person. When you start to shift your thoughts to align with that notion, the more at peace you should feel.

You may also benefit from:

  • Writing a list of the things that need to be done around the house, and agree on who will do what. Optional, but this can be switched regularly so that you both get a go at different tasks.
  • If you both encourage/praise each other once tasks are completed, it will affirm your efforts and you are more likely to feel happy about helping out.
  • Share tasks, as this can allow you to bond, i.e. cook a meal together at least once a week.

Once you don’t feel like you are doing all the work, i’m sure you’ll start to feel better.

Mrs Vito

He Won’t Wear Protection

Dear Mrs Vito, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months and despite my love for him I’m worried about us. I’m a Christian and believe in no sex before marriage, however we’ve found ourselves not keeping this principle. From the beginning I’ve told him what I wanted and even suggested he go to the […]

http://dearmrsvito.com/2016/02/23/he-wont-wear-protection/

4 Things Attractive People Can Do With Their Beauty

Mr Vito Speaks

4 Things Attractive People Can Do With Their Beauty

If and when your beauty attracts any kind of attention from the same or the opposite sex. Aside from the obvious response “Thank You” here are four things you can do to maximise on that attention for your benefit and that of the other person.

1) Encourage the other person to find what makes them beautiful or even point it out if you can see it. People usually say what they would like to hear especially if they too have made an effort to look good, smell good, and clean up well.

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2) In the advent that you have more time bring attention to something that you are passionate about. It could be a cause or a business or even charity. Invite the person to take part or spread the word too. Outward Beauty is merely an attraction tool but it…

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Relationship Short Notes :- Hurt People

Mr Vito Speaks

If you are a hurting person, take the time to assess the depth of your pain. Whatever you have been through can either be a stepping stone or bear trap to your emotional development. Whatever you store in your heart if it be, envy, malice, anger, bitterness, discontentment, frustration, wrath or just plain old negativity you could find yourself destroying other people to heal your broken heart. What you went through was not right and I figure it feels ten times worse when you see that the person you were hurt by is living a seemingly happy and blissful life. It would be smart to confront the person who hurt you and see where that conversation ends up. If you find it becoming abusive in nature, you know a sort of RE run of what happened in the past then say your peace and leave calmly. Dont be afraid to…

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Relationship Notes: Rose Tinted Glasses(VLog)

Mr Vito Speaks

Have you ever wondered the reasons behind some of our worst dating disasters?
Are you tired of making the same mistakes over and over again?

Both my lovely wife and I have been in situations we could have more or less avoided had we taken just a little more time to think things through and become a bit more whole hearted about what we wanted from a relationship.

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In this Video we discuss some of the reasons people often stumble into disaster when it comes to dating and we both offer some personal insights into how we can become better at selecting a partner we can be with for a life time.

Theres nothing like a little honesty to get you thinking.
JUST PRESS PLAY

For Learning Engagements, Problems and Personal Development Inquiries
send your email to.
mrvitouk@gmail.com
@MrVitoSpeaks

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