Relationship Notes: Divorce Is Not An Option

“COUPLES COULD PAY THE PRICE IN THE DIVORCE DEALS DUE TO CUTS IN LEGAL AID”

According to an article In the EVENING STANDARD

“LEGAL AID is now no longer available for most divorce cases due to spending cuts which see money restricted for a few high priority cases. It means divorcing wives and husbands face either a costly legal bill to pay for a lawyer or the daunting prospect of representing themselves for those without the funds”.

Lola and I believe that it takes a lot to get to the stage of divorce, simultaneously we also believe that in an age of mentors, information and timeless revelation….

A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.” Proverbs

As avid encourager’s of togetherness Lola and I have constantly found that the state of marriage is often affected by the state of the minds of the Lovers involved and although we don’t want it to, the state of couples minds is often affected by the following factors.

MONEY PROBLEMS

CHILDREN’S DISCIPLINE

SEX & ITS FREQUENCY

TIME SPENT APART

HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES

FRIENDS

IRRITATING HABITS

PERSONALITY CONFLICTS

INFIDELITY

FAMILY

EXPECTATIONS

Perhaps its as a result of all the above that we as people should strive for better handling of issues as when they arise and prevent what we can. That being said a worthwhile marriage is not built on shunting the things we are uncomfortable with under the carpet and then hoping the rats and mice will usher all our rubbish out. Lola and I find ourselves in situations as you would expect every married couple is supposed to, I think its not an enduring marriage if has not been tested with some kind of annoying afflictions that makes you feel like its a hopeless ship that should sink with the next wave. Remember the problems you are experiencing are REAL and neither should you suppress the feelings that come with them. The feelings serve as an indicator that there should be a change from within to encourage progress not a reason to part ways. Divorce seems like an easy way out, for those of you considering Co-Habitus Relationships, however LAWS will one day come into play where splitting with your partner may be like filing for divorce so don’t consider that as an easy way out.

Marriage is a RELATION-SHIP! A ship in which you should get over yourself as quickly as possible and learn to start RELATING on issues that keep the LOVE BOAT sailing to destiny before someone secretly gets thrown over board. Despite all the issues that come with marriage you find that most people want to find themselves walking down the aisle in style (SPENDING LIKE BOSSES) for the day and then crying a few months later. Perhaps the allure of marriage is the HONOUR that comes with it, and the ability to also work on these challenges in life with someone who cares about you. I mean when you’re hit hard by the issues mentioned as a single person, short of having a divine support system its very hard to maintain personal momentum and personal balance. Our greatest successes depend on stable relationships VISIBLE or INVISIBLE to the public eye.

Essentially permit me to encourage you that a more meaningful marriage or journey to it comes from facing your hiccups with yourself and the person or people you trust. Looking at the list above reminds Lola and I that we are still growing, some things we are yet to face but others we were facing before we consummated the marriage.

For those of you young and married seek the help you need to deal with your challenges. If youre going to overcome the issues above then let this list of donts encourage a unique perspective. Talk to your partner, be a partner not just by law but by active participation and contribution to solution.

-Don’t let marriage MUTE you!

-Don’t let PRIDE recruit you!

-Don’t let MONEY OR LACK OR EVEN THE LOVE of it divide you!

-Don’t let BAD FRIENDSHIPS RUIN you!

-Don’t let UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS fool you!

-Don’t let your FAMILIES rule you!

-Don’t let HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES confuse you!

-Don’t Let IRRITATING HABITS consume you!

-Don’t let SEX, ITS FREQUENCY or its ABSENCE delude you!

-Don’t let CHILDREN’S DISCIPLINE be a civil war!

-Don’t let INFIDELITY be an option!

Some solutions to a lot of these problems don’t become clear until you have honestly overcome them, or you’re blessed enough to avoid them. May courage keep you strong as you overcome your challenges in similar ways in which we overcome ours daily.

The UK has gained a reputation as the divorce capital of the world because of the multi-million-pound settlements awarded to former partners. Sir Paul McCartney was required to pay Heather Mills £24.3m after four years of marriage. Beverley Charman, the former wife of John Charman, an insurance magnate, recently received £48m.

The Guardian

Choose well and you will live life happy! – Mr and Mrs Vito

Lifestyle Notes: Are You Drinking Too Much Workahol?

We trust that our thoughts find you dealing with your year in a smarter way and ultimately becoming better at what you do and even better at picking who you what you do with.

We are of the idea that one can and should work hard to achieve that which will bring fufilment. However in the process of seeking to attain achievements we should not become VICTIMS of our accomplishments. You hear the phrase spoken frequently in different working circles. #GRINDIN #HUSTLEHARD #GRAFTING #WORK #TEAMNOSLEEP #TEAMTOMORROWNEVERDIES #TEAMWEAREMACHINES.

No matter the vision one seeks to accomplish we know one thing is for sure every vision has a set time that might not always be in our control. Whether a corporate firm or a social enterprise whatever the vision we must apportion a time for REST and RECREATION, intentionally and pace our stability and personal growth in the process of pursuing our goals. Some people by reason of the amount of “WORK” they do dont even have to sign a contract to “sell their souls to the devil”. They sell their most vital energies instead. They pass on unhealthy ethos to their work colleagues, crazy signals to their families and even shunt their spouses in Favour of inanimate objects and the things those objects attract. Ironically this quote serves as direction for every person who understands that the condition of the Vision is as important as the condition of the visionary. Your Health and your wealth go hand in hand.

“Experts say the incessant work-related activity masks anxiety, low self-esteem, and intimacy problems. And as with addictions to alcohol, drugs or gambling, workaholics’ denial and destructive behavior will persist despite feedback from loved ones or danger signs such as deteriorating relationships. Poor health is another warning sign. Because there’s less of a social stigma attached to workaholism than to other addictions, health symptoms can easily go undiagnosed or unrecognized, say researchers.”

You know you are working too hard when you exhibit minor or fully blown signs of the following

– ANXIETY
– LOW SELF ESTEEM
-INTIMACY PROBLEMS

Why do you need to start having mental breakdowns before you decide to rest or find a spouse to share your life with. Why do you need to experience a stress related health defect before you realise “Perhaps the objects are not as important as the people around me”.

As the Vito’s we believe in both working smart and connecting with other people well. The right balance due to demands can sometimes be swayed one side to the other but rather than become victims of circumstances we are responsible for, it is just wiser to look ahead and plan our stability through the processes of life as well as the victory dance.

We encourage you to work smart every day and stay away from short cuts to your vision. Patiently strive to be an example of what it means to be a well thought out individual, couple, collective and organisation.

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If you are looking to potentially find better ways to balance yourself as a more wholesome individual, please feel free to purchase of our Book
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All Things Said With Love and Respect
Enquiries and Questions Can Be Sent To
@MrandMrsVito
mrandmrsvito@gmail.com